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Eldrick Tobin

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I don't NORMALLY rant about jobs... [Apr. 25th, 2014|05:43 pm]
Eldrick Tobin
but when I do I think I prefer to rant about the PROCESS.

Or at least that's what I'm covering now. (I try to NOT rant about job stuff simply because it is a HYPER MEGA ULTRA fast way to depress. Myself certainly. Maybe others too)(Of course there's always the "Well I saw on your LiveJournal/Twitter/Facebook/LinkedIn/iYardsale Profile that..." but on the other hand if they don't let you get a word in edgewise at that point... if they don't ask WHY you wrote what you wrote... maybe they aren't the recruiter to talk to. They might be far too busy to wiggle a fit, and are only looking for triangular pegs for triangular holes exactly 1 inch on a side. 1.0000000001 inches is not getting in the spot... nor is 0.9999999999999999999. Yes I understand the "far too busy" sounds snarky, and it is. Of course I've also seen a recruiter that was so harrassed to fill a position that it was almost "skim skim skim NEXT skim skim skim NEXT!!" and I was kinda glad I zipped in and out. That position needs filling NOW, and if it's not me all the faster to the next person before I see a headline about the recruiter with a machete and a bag full of heads. I can relate.)

So the process. I think this has always been the thing that gets to me. Not really the psychological trauma of begging for a job (Say what you will -and likely easily- about the Bay Transformers movies... The Looking for a Job/Job Interview montage was TO ME terrifyingly spot on. Minus the Lying about my perceived skills. I try to not pat myself on the back for ACTUAL things I've done... so how am I supposed to sell myself on things I'm shaky on?) ((Yes I realize it's horn tooting to say I try not to boast. That's boasting/patting myself on the back. I sadly turn a blind eye towards when I do it because that I don't boast as much as the next guy is something I'm proud of. Maybe I shouldn't be @.@))

Back to the stream... it's not the begging trauma blah blah blah. Truthfully -in the right enviroment naturally- it's not even the alien vistas that greet me when I work at this new planet in a far of galaxy. Those intersteller distances eventually shrink. Granted not always that far a shrink, but anything is an improvement... or at least a point to finger waggle over. "And that was when I knew I was just waiting to flip out. The writing wasn't on the wall, but the spray paint was in the satchel."

No it's the Process. The Lying, Scheming, and Swindling.

And really that's how it's always felt. Embellish your experience a tad mentioned here, or Did you touch this at all pointedly asked there. Sports fans... that smacks of scheming. Trying to pull the wool over the eyes of a perspective employer. That's just as bad -to my broken mind- as copying and pasting stuff into your College Life that if anyone SAT DOWN AND LOOKED would see it for what it is. A Baked Ledger. You're 24, you said you spent 8 years at the University, you don't list any AP courses, you only had a 2.88 GPA, and often if asked you can't say what your IQ is and if it is anything impressive. Great that you were majoring in Programming, and even in a language that's looked for. All fine and dandy. You even got the job. Don't be surprised however when the rest of the team is wondering what Turnip Truck you just fell off of. Better have a kiler level of Lie research so that you can at least laugh at toupee jokes aimed at the professor you should have had... and know if they've been dismissed... and and and...

I got off track. You've been here you know I do that. And yeah that's my thoughts on something I KNOW happened at one job site. Someone did sneak into the manager's files once to see how bad the skillset was -they were not very good at even basic processes like hitting a checklist and some typing- so everyone was stunned at all this "This'll get you passed a coursory inspection by the Too Proud to Survive Super and maybe the manager." It was boilerplate almost entirely from what I understand, and they couldn't have crammed all that in and be the lazy doink we KNEW they were. It was a B Movie spy grade copypasta. Can't image what kind of nightjob they really had. Oh look I'm digressing in the explanation of the digression -.-

So embellishing... granted all that's above is a bit extreme... but rounding 1.5 years of experience (and similar crockery) into 2 years or even rounding up as high as 5 -because you're last assignment was SOOO frenetic- is wrong. There are plenty of things I'll fabricate and lie about. (Holding back examples for now :P ) But this is something someone is gonna KNOW in time that you're at the very least playing a game of BullS*** with. You're gonna get called eventually. Either they do directly or the stress of worrying they will might do you in.

And of course if this doesn't bother you at all... you must be here waiting to troll me.

Did you touch this at all. Oh sure you know outlook. You used it every day for 6 years. "6 years of Experience with Outlook." some recruiters will slap on your resume. No. That's hitting "get new messages" for 6 years. You might even have to ask your coworker where the reply button is for all those 6 years. This does NOT entitle you to work in a setting that requires "IN DEPTH knowledge of Outlook 2 Years or more years of experience" (move those buzzwords around a bit until the fit right). "I'm a fast learner." Oh yeah? Then why did you always have to ask about the reply icon? Someone is gonna call you on it.

At best I would personally like to err on the side of downplay. I would rather hear,"Whatever you're paid isn't enough. Good Job." than ,"Don't make me talk to HR about you again." Well unless they're chuckling because you've been given a raise.

Check for a Tilted pinball table... "I would rather" all over the following:

... (as I said) err on the downplay. Maybe I didn't use the ITEM in the way they do at the prospective employment opportunity. (10 years MS WORD experience... NONE of it using it as a poor man's MS EXCEL)
... be honest. I suck at Customer Service. HERE IS WHY: I want to help you. I want to help you so I can move on AS FAST AS POSSIBLE to help the next person. Therefore I wanna help you so completely you're not going to be on the phone with me for weeks... months if I can do enough of a good job on it. I hate people. They diminish the experience. Individuals Enliven HORDES Darken. That said some people you DO NOT WANT in your Monkey Sphere. You want them out like the imagined spot on Lady MacBeth's hand. I need that spot for the next person I'm gonna be on the phone with... who I likely don't want in my head either. Who I will also try to help the ever living %^&* out of. I suck at Customer Service.
... never spend a second in a meeting. I can talk to maybe 3 people at once. Even then I'm parceling out attention THREAD style. Joe and I are talking about Drive Capacities. Joe and Helen are talking about Drive Manufacturers. Helen and I are talking about a horror story she had with the Spanner brand last Tuesday and could I replace those ASAP. Carl wants to talk to me about what tools we need. Then Allen comes in late and I don't have a thread to spare. If he jumps in anywhere I'm going to clam up into Observer mode. Can you bring this up? Oh hell no. This is something everyone's supposed to find out over time. After you've been hired for a time and they've somehow found out they can't function as a unit without you so they adapt and move on.

And the biggest one:
... never have to sell myself. It SOUNDS suspiciously like "sell myself into" and I hope that sentence can easily end itself. On the flip side there's,"Self Promotion." which sounds -at its best- like you're going to slide into the room with a rose between your teeth, and serenade the recruiter and later the employer. Ole! At it's worst... like you're going to SELF PROMOTE yourself CEO. Or Admiral In Charge of Parties.

Is downplaying still scheming. Yes. The scheme is that you're eventual work will sell you better than you will. It backfires if -especially if- the job really didn't need half of what it asked for. (SAN experience means you can use "TeslAPP" to check the Coil Status... and not you can fully MANUALLY provision a 72 drive -3 system- Tesla brand drive array so that the entire Coil could be seamlessly added or removed from a Running Cloud)(Heck if you suck at using the TeslAPP they might say you suck at SAN on your Referral. 9.9) It also backfires if they think you're trying to come off as a miracle worker. The correlary to that being that they might start expecting you to be more qualified than you are:

"Every box he touches come back running better! He's amazing. I'm gonna have him provision the Davidson account."

Turns out you were just applying Thermal Paste. You know you were hired to be a reboot monkey but they've forgotten that. You found out a neat trick from Wired/PC World/Etc and used it when someone left a system in your hands when they went to lunch. Now you're Rembrandt to management.

Now then. Where did this depressive rant of crap and strema of bitterness consciousness come from? What inspired it?

This: http://lifehacker.com/how-to-overcome-a-jobs-years-of-experience-requiremen-1567659254

Looking over that I don't think I could EVER be a fit for anything ever again. Whine whine moan moan complain. (gif of the jobmarket drinking a cup of my tears... some of which are because of my useless legs... but it doesn't care about the source... just the sweet sweet flavor)

(Don't think I need to yank comment privaledges... and it's crossposted anyway. "So I saw you're LJ rant on Twitter about The Backstabbing inherent in the Job Market..." Yeah. You did. I'd link it on an UnResume if such existed. I feel really good about this garbage up there ^-^ Probably the "getting it out of my head" relief.
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(no subject) [Apr. 15th, 2014|05:43 pm]
Eldrick Tobin
It's that time again. Time to rant... so LiveJournal.

But for the first time in maybe ever. Time to rant about food.

If the person who decided that the chicken -a thing that often tastes good SIMPLY COOKED- needs a combination spice RUB thing tells you "Yeah it'll need salt." You'd think that maybe next time they'll rethink this. You'd be wrong. Of course I could tell no difference from this "It'll need salt." versus last time when such a conversation never happened.

Why? Because many rubs ... might as well be SAND. IS this just my tastebuds? Perhaps. I am not refined. Does it invalidate anything? Probably.

Do I still have an opinion? Yep. Was this Rub just as godawful as the last? Yep. Am I about to blanket declare something? Hell yes. Rubs should go extinct.

Or At the Very Least. Endangered status. That wat those that love them can continue to fan these godawful flames in "sacred" alcoves, and leave my taste buds alone.

They can take the pepper with them, but they may only borrow the salt.

Disabling comments -as I need not the Choir,"Yeah screw rubs!" nor the Dissenting,"But ..."

I suppose you could comment on twitter or facebook if you felt so inclined.

So greypages... [Jun. 18th, 2013|01:59 pm]
Eldrick Tobin
Is gone again. I expect it to remain so. May it rest in peace, as I can't really see having a domain name anymore. I just don't have anything to show for one.

I did have grand plans once. Well not for the-arc or greypages. Those were specifically what they were. GP was all about personal garbage, maybe a smattering of fandom things - I still recall that Tenchi intra-site portal I'd planned. I kinda gag thinking back on it. The execution in my head just never came out in text... not even for the placeholder stuff. Arrogance and pretension a go go.

The-arc was about my writing and other fanfiction bullshit. "I'm a writer" <- fanfiction bullshit right there. (Why yes I'm sitting on a big big disparaging rant at the mo' but it's not for here.) Now. I do write, but I'm not a writer. I could never "NaNoWriMo" I doubt I could stay the course. I'd get a week or two in and... that's it. I'd flame out. 12-20 hours a day writing will do that. "Pace your" no that's my sentence and it's "go fuck your." There is no Hoover Dam large enough for the stream of consciousness. So just stop right there. There is no pacing only Zuul. (Writing zing!).

The-arc was actually fairly on track. I did have some plans that never happened quite the way I wanted -the henshin dynamics database comes to mind. And without getting into those schemes that were hiding in the rafters waiting to strike, I'll just leave things with: There were a few things I could have gotten to once I had the wiki running, and maybe since I still -currently- have that running maybe just maybe I'll figure out a way.

"So why no domains at all?" Because of the next point: The new ones in my head are all planned things. Planned really needs more emphasis. Perhaps a font size that would destroy Earth to render. Make no mistake, I am talking a level of work needed that basically means I'd have to pay people to build it. Then I'd be a jackass and tinker all their good paid for works into trash by the time I presented it to the universe -and promptly hoped the universe ignored it. (Hold onto that disparaging rant darn it) No these were too heavily planned... and with a mountain of expectations on them.

"Expectations?" I already saw them in my head as what I wanted of them... how dare they not be completed already! I've imagined them!! If you think I'm kidding you've not spoken to my Lizard Brain "I've planned the next three dungeons... so let's just skip to there. This older stuff is now beneath any of our notice, and the fourth dungeon on the tip of my consciousness is gonna be even better." <- What my Lizard Brain regularly thinks. You've now met them. And so preface all the following plans with "But I've already planned it!" or some other flavor of Lizard Brain speech.

CuteSlut.net/CuteSlut.tv (yes I was planning via Joy to take these back) were gonna be a linked porn portal with cute ladies who want it, know they want it, and understanding about you not necessarily being comfortable with that. Yep sexy and naughty but innocent. As Joy would have been in charge I can just see all kinds of genders on display... as of course it would become a singularity of cutesluttishness.

Spandexville kinda hit about where I wanted it with the wakaba/*chan imageboard. Ideally it could have gawked at a directory, figured out who was in the image, and posted it to the proper thread. "That's kinda compl" Complex? Hell yeah. Lizard Brain knows not the definition of hubris. Of course it would be easy to implement and amazing and ha ha ha ha!

Succubushentai was ... well... it was inspired by Demon Girls. The epitome of CuteSluts really. They have to have it, they intend to take it, and without the soul destruction/stealing aspect. Of course when they take it you might not want them to but being what they are it might not get more than a tweet of "Well a succubus came in and violated me. Now we're snuggling. I guess I don't mind. Wish she'd waited until I finished the raid first though. My guild is gonna hang me." Originally the site was inspired not by a full plan, but just Astarot images... inspiration found iutself afterwards. And it would have been an astounding sight to behold. If it wasn't for those meddling kids!

There was a Joy-chan imageboard too, but that was mostly Joy's little haven. The plan there would have been an all encompassing tumblr like look at things she liked from sex, karaoke, bunnies, and cute outfits. The kind of brain stream that tells you -after enough time there- exactly what the person is like. Just the target person being Joy. Evenutally there would have been one for each Arcer. And then the data could have been fed into an AI constructor and bwahahahahahahaha!
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Point will be lost on some: Game Ideas will gritting my teeth [Feb. 18th, 2013|12:13 am]
Eldrick Tobin
[Tags|, , , , ]

So. To get the fact that some will not get that I DO NOT LIKE THIS IDEA please file this first part under BAD IDEAS, HORRIBLE CONCEPT, and EWWW.

Seriously. This is not something I'm endorsing... this is something I can't quite get out of my head that I know would UNFORTUNATELY SELL on some level.

Those Dirty HumansCollapse )
*can't go on*

I'd come up with a fifth option, but I like the number 5. I don't like the trends I'm seeing. Thus no Number 5.

The rundownCollapse )

I think I'm done ranting into the internet void. I'd have just ranted to my friends ... but it's all preaching to the choir or "But it still sounds like fun... just change the idea to add the other stuff." which isn't the point. The point is *horse beating icon goes here* that adding all that is pointless and untenable. Why put in the effort for the content when 5 people out of 345348364373 enjoy it? Especially when others just ask for more elf rape simulations or gnome vivisection engines.

"So what prompted this rant?" Updating Guild Wars 2 actually. Recalled that they might as well have not made anything but humans playable. Now I am lumping humans and norn together. I shouldn't but some probably go norn only because they want to be taller.

Anyhoo maybe those numbers have changed but I'm afraid to look. Last time I looked... if it was a race the other species didn't make it to the track before the race started. *looks anyway* http://gw2census.com/charts.php?pie=total&divide=charrace <-=--- Pie Chart by Character Race. The demographics have improved a bit. The Terrans have lost some lead but they definitely left the starting line early. I'd much rather see something like the profession chart. Neck and neck racing -or close scoring games- are more interesting. A hundred point lead in basket ball is awesome for record breaking purposes. If it's your species demographics on your online game where you fought tooth and nail to render every species perfect and every starting area exquisite... it kinda sucks when no one see your fern gully.

Comments are open until a spam post shows up.
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Spam [Jan. 19th, 2013|01:44 am]
Eldrick Tobin
Everywhere I turn lately I'm finding new sources. Gmail says much of my spam is in Portuguese. Now it's here. And never anything recent either. Like my datacenter mumble. Bots just love it.

Why ?.? Because I mention something specific? Why not use something from PAGE ONE then. Really cause my jaw to drop :/
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Friends [Dec. 2nd, 2012|12:29 am]
Eldrick Tobin
It's kinda weird thinking of trimming a friends list that's almost defunct anyhow. Some have left off kinda vaguely, others "I'm going here!" and you go there and there's a small amount of new posts and then nothing every again.

As for myself... too used to the occasional useless post here to leave. I'll probably be one of those codgers who's still here when LJ tries to make a comeback telling all the newcomers to get off my lawn what with their Tenctonese talkin' and their spoiled milk drinkin'.

"But you use some of the new stuff!" I like autospamming about my achievements in Star Trek Online etc. I also like mumbling about things I liked on youtube.

Of course I was born an internet dinosaur:
I say no usually to style sheets (I prefer prebuilt whole page templates... some have style sheets in them... like vermin assisting in pollination);
I prefer color over pictures (but I really get into wiki-formatting from time to time... usually when it refuses to let me just do something... then I forget everything later @.@)
I don't tell people what I'm doing 10 times an hour every day... forever. (I might respond to replies to this on lj, at FB, or Twitter... all depending on which medium tells me -and I see it tell me- there's a reply)

"Man... dino-sucks to be you! Do you even have a tumblr? EVERYONE has a tumblr." Yes. I do. Not much there.

"*obsomeone can't comprehend... and self deletes*" One down. :/
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(no subject) [Dec. 1st, 2012|06:04 pm]
Eldrick Tobin
Poll #1882484 Grammar Poll on: The Comma

Were you taught

Oxford Style (red, white, and blue)
AP Style (red, white and blue)
Something Else (details in comments? pleeease?)
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Multiboxing: A Pipe dream of craziness (from the pages of my no ip wiki) [Nov. 7th, 2012|12:12 pm]
Eldrick Tobin
[Tags|, , , , , , , , ]
[Current Location |The Future!]
[Current Mood |nerdynerdy]
[Current Music |The Droning of my Futuristic Perfect Personal Enviro Controller. In the Future]

It's a dark and stormy night, but I'm cozy with the sound of thunder and lightning rattling my location. 12 Machines hum away nearby. They're not frightened either. I need something to do with all this energy I suddenly have.

I get the urge to run an instance.

I flip on the monitor of a 13th machine remotely from the only laptop in the room -a beautiful tablet pc (but not an iPad). I rotate the tablet's monitor to drawing mode, and -connected to machine 13- remotely I drag game windows FROM the other 12 machines -running headless- picking and choosing until I have a party of 6. I have them join into a group. Of course the process IS a tad slow because 13 is now running all 12 clients itself BUT at least the machines they were on are now much quieter. They have nothing to do with the games they were running just a moment ago.

From my tablet I move -like in an RTS- my cluster of heroes and heroines into a good formation I like, and with a single motion get them on their way to the instance master. We dive right in. I turn off rendering on box 13 to save it some pain and with this RTS like skeleton on the tablet I lazy tap powers. Button 1 they all attack the same target... my taunter getting aggro instead of attacking... then with the fight the way I like it I turn on the combat assists all at once with a single keystroke and they all pound the stuffing out of anything that the taunter (the only one set to range about) brings home to roost.

Uh oh a miniboss! But wait I switch combat tactics! The assists turn off and the key groups begins their magic: the buffers buff, the healer shields, and our support healer gets the regeneration working via some quick strumming and then gets the bugger off of them when the taunter chimes in with a manual keystroke hopefully in time before support's face melts off. Not fast enough but the damage monkeys fly into the buggers face and start carving their names in.

It's a slog with turning on assists and turning them back off when things get too hairy and need some TUC... nope not tender loving care but total user control. Loot windows don't pop up so well on the tablet's RTS skeleton view so 13's screen flicks to life and the loot rolling of the IMPORTANT gear kicks off and the rest... eh the assists will handle all the "LOL MUST HAVE" like efficiency. You'd almost think 'we' were on Raid Call having a micro-debate, then just finished up, and bam. Lootzorz (Or however you'd type something like that.)

Things progress like this until the final boss but thankfully being just a giant damage soaker with some levers sticking out of their butt it's a snap to take one of the mages onto my tablet via dragging while everyone else just combat assist wails and flails on them. Under complete TUC the mage flips levers as they become active allowing the debuffs to wear off and the Boss to get them instead. Wanting a breather I enable combat assist under their titanic bulk and wait. FOOM. More lever work. I quickly flip to the RTS screen and make sure some of the nasty skills go off by spamming them passed the combat assists' power selections. This boss is going down.

One more lever action section while everyone feels the heat, and when I finish with magical lever land primary damager is feeling his -don't heal me right now!- oats and with his current hit point based powers redlining 3 strikes and the boss is toast. Almost lost that damage monkey but NOT TODAY! Final rewards are decided on as I slide the mage back onto machine 13. Back into formation they put themselves and I march the group out of the instance. WOO HOO! A bit frenetic and not at all what the designers want but it made the thing fun like a console RPG.

As I cackle '*beep* real people!' while reading general chat's current decent into depravity (and humor!) I disband the group. Release the formation and they scamper back to where I like to leave them to chill -out one of them two zone transitions away! Then I send them back to their headless boxes to wait for me to play with them again. OH but wait box 7 wants my attention according to my tablet so I drag them to the tablet and ahhhh time to pick some talents. So many to choose from @.@v Oh that's right this one is void based. Makes it easier to pick and soon they are back home, and I settle in to watch Yahtzee rant about a game this week. Sure I watched it on Box 13 - it's weird watching video "from my pants" on the tablet.

The preceding is not currently possible. Close? Yeah. There are solutions that bring that close to possible. But I was "dragging whole clients around"/"dragging hot swappable client data between installations"/"using a wand" up above. I was forming my people up in an RTS like window which was telling the clients on the mythical box 13 exactly where to stand and face. AND VIA THAT RTS WINDOW MAINTAIN THAT FORMATION.

Lastly at no point was I concerned about
1)if the devs are 'sad pandas' about the way I was playing
2)what other people thought about how I was playing.

In the real world you have to be. *beep* real people sometimes ya know? :-/
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Spoiler Alert: I mumble about politics. [Aug. 29th, 2012|08:39 pm]
Eldrick Tobin
[Current Mood |pessimisticpessimistic]

Within you shall be dusted with ticks.Collapse )
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Thinking about Sleeping Dogs [Aug. 14th, 2012|09:12 am]
Eldrick Tobin
No. Not "Thoughts" seems too... cut and dried? Because I'm still thinking about it... not that I'm playing it... my friend is. And it seems a nice solid step in a direction that Grand Theft style items haven't tackled quite yet.

I'm thinking that we have undercover games... spy games... gang lord games. But outside of some smaller scale games... nothing crosses the line much. (Massive Games don't count this sec because too often the developers are playing a meta-game on the game [Why are the good guys getting buffed and the bad guys are getting stealth nerfed]. Or in say the case of City of Heroes/Villains the story-lines where you HAND SOMEONE TO THEIR ENEMY WHO IS LIKELY TO CHOP THEM UP don't factor quite as negatively towards you when you later change sides... and maybe change sides again.)

So what we need is a game where you're undercover... but there's the opportunity to cross the line. Why? Because they find out you're a cop at some point and approach you about it. Maybe you now choose to enjoy the perks of being on the wrong side of the law as opposed to just playing really hardcore LIP SERVICE to their side of the law. Maybe you rat out your fellow cops.

Maybe at the end of the day -to appease people- you still end things in the favor of the law... just you broke a whole MESS of eggs for this beautiful fascinating omelet.

After all so many games you play a... bad ass undercover priest/jedi who cries on the inside while worrying about their soul as they try to save the universe while getting deep deep DEEP in the pocket of the enemy. Very few allow you the proper level of moral choice to be a different kind of bad ass... say more Dark Side minded... or even just that smiling face no one suspects is playing both sides.

Will these kind of options give developers nightmares? Maybe. Depends on the game developer. But we need more options besides, "Mother Theresa, or baby eating," just like Yahtzee says.
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